A Bloke from the Bush

[Title not visible in clipping]

"Wotcher doin' ternight?" said old Billo
to me.

"There's a bloke down our suburb I
want yeh to see.
'E's down fer the show
Frum the bush, dontcher know.
An' 'e's givin' a leckchure—Admission
is free!

"I wants yeh to come there," said
Billo, "because
It's a treat fer yer ears when these
country blokes jaws.
Ther English is crool;
And they speaks, as a rool,
Without no regard fer grammatical
laws.

"I've 'eard them bush fellers," said
Billo to me;
An' it's better than 'avin' a regular
spree.
There'll be copy fer you
If you only come. Do!
Fer the sake of the things that you'll
'ear an' you'll see.

"Aw, make the appointment," said
Billo, the lad,
"This crude, country cooney should
make yeh reel glad.
I ain't met 'im yet,
But 'is whiskers, I'll bet,
Is like wot yeh see on a ole country
Dad."

We went to the lecture, old Billo and
I.
We arrived rather early, and so by-
and-bye.
Ere the lecture began,
They brought up a man
And said, "This is Bill Huggins of
Bungadable.

"He's to lecture tonight." Then ole
Billo cried, "Wot!
Is the country played out! 'as it
all gone to pot."
For the man sported spats
And the latest in hats,
And the neatest and ??????
clothes e 'ad got.

And he said, "Pleased to meet you.
I'm awfully keen,
I'm so isolated where I've lately
been.
It's a lone, dreary spot,
But now, chappies—What? What?
I'm down amongst friends; so let's
ring up the scene.

"Ai propose, dear old eggs, to talk to
you tonight
On Einstein's assertions. Ai hope to be
bright,
But Ai hope you'll excuse
If you think that my views
On this theory—What?—are not
always quaite raight."

Then Billo, he nudged me, and I
looked at Bill.
I looked at the exit. He said, "P'raps
we will.
Come along: let's 'bung off.'
'E's a blithering toff!
Strike a light! But the country is
going down 'ill!"