Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 01 September 1922
Dere frend Wots happenin? I aint been much in the papers lately an me an bill smith is feelin a bit bored, we was torkin it over the other nite an we rekins that the only sane peepul in the world is up ere at gunns gully we dont go shootin wun another like ther doin in ireland an we dont go bushranging like they does in other places an we dont get torkin a lotter rot like they does in them parlyments you got down there. wot we does is we works an we eats an we sleeps an mins our own bizness wich is a good tip fer the rest of the world. bill smith rekins that blokes in cities aint got enuf work to do an they goes brudin an gets ideas an then wants to shoot someone or go on a jag or get into parlyment or something silly like that now us up ere dont want to do none of them things, an bill smith sez we was made fer work an work was made fer man an if the 2 dont go together somethins going to blo up an I rekin e's quite rite. when Adam ate the apple an got chucked out the gardin of edin bill smith reckins e flung away is spade an took to share brokin or polyticks or somethin' an thats how a curse cum to be put on im bill smith reckins that us up ere is nearer to Adam than any of you cows down there. annyways by recent apenins i rekin me wife is near to eve as any woman kin get ile tell you about that later. Our sekin youngest is down with the mumps. Hoppin you are the sam Yours truly BEN BOWYANG.