A Pest-Eradicator

Now, it fell out that a certain Street
Pest beholding a Fair Damsel in a
Quiet Suburban Street did accost her,
and, walking beside her, insisted on
speaking into her Shell-like ear certain
words of Allurement, saying, "Whither
away, my Pretty?" and "Prithee, walk
with me," and Rude Phrases such as
this.

Now, the Damsel was Sore Distressed
for she had heard talk of these Bold
Men, and she knew not what to Do.
Then, taking counsel with Herself, she
did devise a Scheme. Coming to a
Garden Gate she did open it and walk
within, pretending it was her Own
Home.

But the Pest was Wise to these
games, and he leaned upon the Fence
and waited, Leering.

At this the Damsel did knock upon
the House-Door, and a Woman came
to whom the Damsel said, "Is there a
Man in this House who will protect me?
For behold the Pest who leans upon the
Fence and Leers has Annoyed me with
Attentions, and will not Leave me."

And the Woman, turning, called with-
in the House, "Ebenezer!" And a Voice
answered, "Yea, Love."

And, Behold, there appeared a very
Small, slippered man with Spectacles
and a Weak Chin.

But at the Sight of Him the Pest all
suddenly did lose his Leer, and his
Flying Feet did smite the Pavement so
suddenly that he was soon in the Mid-
dle Distance, still Going Strong.

"Behold, my rescuer!" cried the Dam-
sel, "You have given him to Fear!"

But, "Nay," spoke the small slippered
man. "He fears not my Size nor my
prowess at Fisticuffs. But, lo, I am
his Employer, and he toils Daily in my
Fish Shop—or rather, he Did."

"My Hero!" cried the Damsel with
a Glad Light in her Eyes.

But the Woman of the House, looking
Sideways, said, "Ebenezer, we will go
within. I bid you Good morrow, Young
lady." And they Went.

But the Damsel departed Rejoicing,
even as did not the Pest when he left
his Job on the Morn that came After
the Day Before.

Moral: Always find out where the
Boss lives.