Cup Day - 1922

Joseph Jinks, good citizen,
Worthiest and best of men,
Rises, and, with anxious eyes
Will it rain, or will it shine?
Eagerly he seeks a sign,
Then rushes unto his wife:
"Day's just bonzer! bet yer life!"

So do Jones and Johns and Gee,
Murphy, Morphy and Magee,
Puddlefoot and Fussyface,
For today the greatest race
Stirs the whole glad populace.
"Hip, Hurray! The day's a beaut!
Don your newest, slickest suit!"

Joseph Jinks hies forth in glee,
Having gulped his breakfast tea,
Buys a race-book in the street,
And proceeds on joyful feet.
Here and there amongst his friends,
Gleaning racing odds and ends.
Then remarks: "Say! Was that rain?
Look! It's clouding up again!"

Likewise Jones and Johns and Gee,
Murphy, Morphy and Magee,
Puddlefoot and Fussyface,
Each man of the populace
With an upraised anxious face
Sadly marks the greying skies
And the doulful chorus cries
"Spare me days" aint this a cow
Still were goin anyhow!

Joseph Jinks (in shine or rain)
Travels out by car or train,
Gleaning tips along the way
As a farmer gleans the hay!
Till his race-card is marked o'er
With "sure winners" by the score.
"Hum!" says he, and rubs his chin,
"One of 'em is bound to win!"

Also Jones and Johns and Gee,
Murphy, Morphy and Magee,
Puddlefoot and Fussyface—
Seeking for a win or place.
To back something in the race
Study hard, as this is penned,
For one common aim and end.

Joseph Jinks! Good luck! Good-bye,
'Ere these lines shall meet your eye
You'll be throwing up your hat,
Or your wallet will be flat.
Yet, however it may go,
It's all in the game, you know.
Once again the sun is out!
What is there to fret about?

Also, Jones and Johns and Gee,
Murphy, Murphy and Magee,
Puddlefoot and Fussyface—
here's your fortunes at the races!
The dead last your fancy places
Bear it all with cheertful grins
Horses must lose when one orse wins
So when all is said and done
Anyway you've had your fun.