In Furrin Parts

Mr. J. Barnes, Migration Director, says that some intending immigrants ask absurd questions concerning Australia. For example: Are spider bites fatal? How many cowboys use revolvers? Do native bears attack sheep? And so on.

The adventurous young immigrant,
Percy Pomegranate, arrived at last
off the shores of Australia, at that
unhospitable spot known as Sent-
kilder Beach. With others, he was
sent ashore in a surf boat, which
narrowly escaped being scuttled and
wrecked by a school of fierce garfish.
His first greeting as he clambered up
the slippery rocks was a shower of
spears thrown by the savage Ay-en-
ays (Australian natives) who wear
rings in their noses so that they may
be led by the Poll-Tishun, who is
king of the country.

Eluding these, he at last reached
the rough bush track known locally
as Sentkilderode, here to be confront-
ed by a huge native bear, which
chased him up a prickly-pear tree. For
an hour Percy sat amid the spread-
ing branches, watching the bright-
colored boomerangs flit from bough
to bough. Finally, the bear departed
in pursuit of its natural prey, the
spotted corroboree, a creature that
progresses upon one leg, using the
others to defend itself against the
earbiter flies, whose sting is almost
fatal.

Descending, Percy continued his
way and, after a weary tramp, at
last reached the district known as
Futz-Kral, where he was chased for
miles by a pack of ferocious bar-
rakas, vicious animals that bark
like dogs and live chiefly upon um-
pias. In the nick of time these
beasts were driven off by a huge
creature known locally as the whis-
kered wow-zah. They disappeared
into the distance, and Percy plodded
on.

At a turn in the track he suddenly
found himself face to face with a
weird-looking man, dressed in the
native costume, who waved his arms
wildly and talked incessantly. Imme-
diately Percy recognised him as the
Poll-Tishun, or King of the Country.
This person's strange form of salu-
tation was to pull Percy's leg two
or three times. But he was very
friendly, and spoke fairly intelligent
English.

Conducting Percy to the native
settlement, the Poll-Tishun provided
our hero with a hut and a plot of
ground, first warning him against
the attacks of the native speel-lahs
or gunnes, whose bite causes intense
pain.

Here Percy lives and prospers until
this day, growing alternate crops of
nutritious nulla-nullahs and warri-
gals. He has married a native wife,
and has many half-caste children.
When asked if he would like to re-
turn to England, Percy replies in the
native tongue: "Aw, ave an art. Ino
wen ime ona gud wik kit."