The Curate's Curse

Many otherwise worthy people, including curates, continue to protest against Sunday games in the parks. On the other hand, a number of stalwart Christians have recently spoken almost bitterly about the effeminacy of curates and their absurd manner of speech. Mar Deah Ber-rethern .

At hold his stern morality,
    Despait the worlding's scoffing [?],
And when a crowd of youths Ai see
    Theah coats (and virtue) doffing
To—aw—engage in Sunday sports
    At vioce evangeliatic snorts.

Ai am not, maind you, anti-Joy;
    Ai do not frown at pleasuah.
Indeed, since Ai was quaite a boy
    Ai hav been, in a measuah,
Inclined to—aw—to manly games,
    And democratic in mai aims.

Ai think it raight that Ai should tell
    That Ai'm—aw—quaite athletic.
Ai play—aw—lude rawther well,
    And games still less asthetic,
And ping-pong tho' a traifle rough,
    Dealights me, Oh Ai am so muff!

At tiddley-winks Ai've won a few
    Naice trophies (We're real gadders!)
Ai'm champion  of cush parish, too.
    At grab and snakes-and-ladders
And the Ai—aw—Ai should not boast
At Nobs Ai'm betiah far than most.

Oh, we hev quaite a lot of fun—
    (Ai dote no ouah bezque days!)
But understund—it is not done
    On Sunday—only week days'
Fer on that day mai folk rejoice
    To sit and listen to mai voice.

So when Ai see—aw—youths at sport
    Or heah—aw—flappehs squealing
On Sundays, on a tennis court,
    Ai cannot help—aw—feeling,
Well, reahally, quaite—aw—quaite
    Annoyed.
To see these sinners so employed.

    They are quaite deaf to mai appeal,
While Sabbath hours they ravage,
    And Ai must—aw—admit Ai feel
At taimes—aw—almost savage
Oh, Ai could slap them! But. instead.
    Ai've put a  curse upon each head.

And this is it. Ai do not say
    Ker-istian folk should hate them
But when they break the Sawbath
    day
Naice folk should aleniate them.
    They should be—aw—quaite firmly
        told:
WHY WILL NOT HAVE THEM IN
        OUAN FOLD!

So it has been decided by
    Maiself and Mrs Grendel
That they shall get the aicy eye 
    Who desoarate the Monday,
And when such people Ai—aw—most,
    Ai'll simply OUT THEM in the
        street!