Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 06 October 1922
During Health Week various doctors have prescribed various delectable kinds of food and drink, declaring them injurious. Sugar, white bread, and other foods have been loudly denounced.
Why do all the things I crave Happen not to be my grave? All the things I love and long for? While what I'd not give a song for— Things I loathe and things I hate— Help me to a healthful state! Why should doctors be unkind, saying that to feed my mind? I must feed my body ever On some slush, and 'ere endeavour, By consuming tons of tripe, To attain the age called "ripe"? Doctor Jones says gnawing bones Builds the body up, and tones: All the system, while cold water, Wards off divers - like or oughter While a meal of melon pie Will promote longtev-ity. Doctor Mann says fancy "sweets" Is not half as good as bran; It brings on - he says neuralga shingles and appendicitis While a good square feed of chaff Helps you give all this the laugh Doctor Ladd says bran is bad And who eat such stuff are mad Peanuts are the true health givers Building long striving healthy livers, And the man who dines on chaff May compose his epithaph When I bath I like it hot, Doctor Watt explains what rot If you would have health and power Take each morn a tepid shower Doctor White says rubbish sponge. Doctor Wright says not cold plunge.