Heard On a Dummy

While mooching home on a crowded
tram last Saturday evening we gathered
wisdom thus:—

Tall youth (hanging precariously to
stanchion): Hey! Didjer 'ear Colling-
wood won be twelve goals?
Friend: Twelve goals? Aw, gorn!
Vivacious girl: Whadjer know about
that?

Old lady (to friend): I always cooks
plenty of salt in mine, me dear.
Tall youth: Wot erbout the "Eggs"
now, eh?

A morose man: Umpirin'! Yeh don't
call that umpirin'.

Vivacious girl: Now, whadjer know
'bout that?
Old lady: I boils 'em twenty minits,
no more an' no less.

Red-faced man: Owjer come cut,
George?
George: Didina coupler quid.
Tall youth: 'Ow erbout S'n Kilder?
Friend: Aw, duds!

Vivacious girl (indignantly): Now,
whadjer know 'bout THAT?
Old lady: Then I makes a bit o' white
sauce an'—

Spectacled gentleman: Been dipping
into Einstein's Theory of Relativity
lately. Interesting when you get the
hang of it.
Gripman: Old un at the corner!

Spectacled gentleman: The theory
is—
Old lady: "Tripe?" I sez to 'im—
That ain't tripe, it's —-
Loud voice: "Tigers! Yah!"

Vivacious girl: Now what DO yeh
know about that?