Robbing the Drunk

"If you want to squander money, build the
line through the Territory; but if you want
to develop Australia build the line through
Queensland," said Mr George J. Gilmore, in
concluding his evidence relating to the pro-
posed North-south line before the Federal
Public Works Committee.

"I have a pub," said Daniel Dubb,
    "That's sadly needin' custom."
"I have a store," said Joseph
    Moore—
"The Beatem or the Buntem."
"I have a run," said William Dunn,
    "Way on the Queensland border;
So let us get together, lads,
    And put the thing in order."

"Me little pub," said Daniel Dubb,
    "Is gettin' slow and slower."
"My grocer's store," said Joseph
    Moore,
"Shows takings low and lower."
"My cattle run," said William Dunn,
    "Is going to the devil;"
"Let's get the railway through, me
    boys,
The track is pretty level."

"Now, here's the rub," said Daniel
    Dubb,
"We're up against Australia."
"We'll beat them, sure," said Joseph
    Moore,
But Dunn said, "Inter alia—
(You'll note by that remark, my
    boys,
That I am educated),
That railway yet we're sure to get
    Unless I'm under-rated.

"The way it's done," said William
    Dunn,
"Is just to keep 'em sleeping.
And while they sleep we'll creep and
    creep
And ever keep on creeping,
And then right down by Mulga
    town
We'll have that railway running."
Said Joseph Moore, "We'll beat 'em
    sure,
Why, man, you're very cunning."

Said Daniel Dubb, "I keep a pub;
    An' don't you be mistakin',
These folk in this Australia here
    Will some day be a-wakin';
I've seen them drunk, I've seen them
    funk
Big problems when they're liquored.
Some day, maybe, they'll wake to
    see
The things they done while shickered."

Said William Dunn, "Then let us
    run
This railway through today, boys.
Yeh never know how things may
    go;
The mists may clear away, boys.
While he's a wreck, let's sneak his
    cheque."
Said Dubb, "Well, let's be creepin'."
(And Bill Australia still went on
    Just sleeping—sleeping—sleeping.)