Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 13 July 1922
“In almost every civilised country except ours, Radio has developed too fast,” says a scientific paper, “that no man may sit by his fireside and listen at will to grand opera, parliamentary debates, concerts, vaudeville shows, sermons or whatever he pleases.”
Scene: A fireside. Characters: A householder, his wife. Time: Early evening. The Man: I feel like a bit of vaude- ville tonight. Wife: Oh! I suppose that cat whose voice you were so enamored of last Wednesday! Man: My dear! Wife: Oh, I know! I couldn’t drag you away from the machine while she was singing. Man: Very well. Perhaps the House is sitting. I’ll listen to a debate. (He reaches for the radio.) Radio: Mr Speaker, I wish to make a personal explanation. When I was ejected from that meeting at the Town Hall, I—— Wife: Oh, turn that off! It’s that bore Jiggs. We don’t want to listen to him! Man: Righto. What about this Radio: We’re two real naughty boys. Sporty boys—naughty boys. Wife: Turn it off! Man: I can’t! What have you been doing to this machine? Radio: Naughty boys, sporty boys— I object Mr Speaker? The country Party has deliberately misrepresented dear brethren, the text today is “Naughty boys, sporty boys— Well, 'ave another chaps. Just a wee deoch and doruis - now a certain man went down into the—Naughty boys!” (On a point of order Mr Speaker—) “Gerty Gerty Don’t you know me, Bertie? I’m Gerty the peroxide peach.” Wife: John! Radio: I’m Gerty, Bertie, and I’m feeling rather flirty, Bertie.” Wife: John! Man: KIts alright dear. Machines working perfectly now. Wife: John! Its that woman again Radio: It’s Gerty, Bertie, the peroxide peach, don’t you remember? When we met on the beach. Wife: John! Man: Is all right. Radio: Remember how you squeezed me, and teased me . . . Wife: John! Radio: And pleased me. Wife: JOHN! Man: It's all right. Wife: JOHN! Radio: G-r-r-r-r-r-r.