Unvarnished

The Plain, Unvarnished Tale

A plain, unvarnished tale may be expected from the Commonwealth Treasurer. Mr. Bruce when he makes his Budget statement on Thursday.

You have heard the tale before, brothers,
That "plain, unvarnished tale"—
What time the politicians talk,
And poor taxpayers wail,
It's a pretty stale, I wot,
So far as we're concerned,
And yet, I think, that from it, friends,
A lesson's to be learned.

We've heard that tale before, brothers,
Year in, year out it's told—
The same old plain, unvarnished tale
That Treasurers unfold.
Expenses, they are mounting up;
Receipts are falling fast,
And so the game goes on and on.
How long is it to last?

I recollect, long years ago,
When I was but a kid,
I heard my father read that "tale,"
And curse? My word, he did!
He said if taxes mounted up
Stark ruin faced him plain;
And ten years later on, I heard
Him say the same again.

And still the Treasurers went of
With their unvarnished tales;
And still taxpayers come and smote
The welkin with their wails.
And still they wail, and still they moan
And grumble night and day;
And still they say "the game is crook."
Yet, still they have to pay.

It makes me very sad, brothers,
When I look down the years,
And mark those tales that Treasurers
Pour in electors' ears.
Unvarnished, so they call it.
Unvarnished! Brothers mine,
Why can't they get some good shellac
And make that story shine?

When shall we hear the "varnished" tale?
When shall the man be sent—
That super-Treasurer who cuts
The cost of government?
I don't know what that tale may be;
And "varnished's" not the word.
But now and then it pays to be
A little bit absurd.

But, brothers, to be serious,
How long must this go on?
Believe me, in the dead of night
These things I ponder on,
And while the shunting engine clash,
Like brontosaurs at play,
I think, as each sharp whistle sounds,
"Another tax to pay!"

Another tax to pay, brothers,
The plain, unvarnished tale
Goes on and on from year to year.
And notes will not avail.
Oh, let us have a "varnished" tale,
By some man heaven-sent—
Some simple man who can reduce
The cost of Government!