Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 03 November 1926
otel expensive melbun, novemer 2th to the editer of the herald dere sir well me an bil smith as saw the melbun cup at leeste wot i meen to say is we ave been present on the corse where the melbun cup was run an wile the melbun cup was run an we saw a lot of peepil oo was trine to see over the eds of a lot of peepil oo was trine to see the orses wot i reely seen was the culer of 2 jokies jakets an a orses oof bil sez e seen awl of a orse awl at wun time an wud ave saw the finish quite plain if e ad been 2 or three feet higher * * * * torkin between ourselfs i got to oan that i ave injoyed meself a lot better up at our gunns gully cup meetin were we ave a taim orses that are trained to start proper an not move off of the wun spot until thay are told to go beside that up at the gully i am sumbudy at the races i am mister Ben Bowyang starter andicapper an also juge if i can run down to the post quick enuf beside bein president of the club down ere today me an bil smith was just 2 plane country blokes in a crowd of a hundred an fifty thousan peepil oo diden no we was alive an diden care if we was ded i felt orful small an if sum of that joslin crowd ad ther way thay wud ave maid me smaller owever in spite of awl ime glad i cum an i will now be abil to tell me gran childern an grate gran childern that the melbun cup of 1926 was run in the presens of wun underd an ninty ate thousan peepil an me an bil smith an severil guvners peepil oo was lissenen in on the wireless tell me that the cup was a grate race awl i got was art diseese * * * * annyways after gittin into the rong trane an goin for a nice lettel ride out to camberwill we got to the corse jist as the first race was startin nuthink wud do bil but rush off down the bettin ring to get a quid on renown wot a man ad tole a man oo ad tole another man wot ad tole the bell boy at our otel in strick confidens was a ded cert so jist at the minit that bil was breathin ard after gittin is muney on with a lotter truble the orses started an a bloke sez renown is left at the post you orter seen bils face i did laff an bil ad a row with the booky wot wudent give im is muney back wich was won quicker than anny muney i ever see becos if bil ad kep it 5 secinds longer it wud ave still been is i did laff * * * * the nex race was a orful quick wun i dident ave no bet becos it looked like about arf of em cud win it but bil was orful ankshus to ave a bit on fugi sam but i sez rememer lars time an don’t be in to much of a urry so bil ums an ars an estitates an then awl of a suddin bil maiks up is mind an rushes off to back this ere chineese orse but by the time e gits there the race is awl over an fugi sam as won gosh i did laff in the novemer andicap bil sez e aint goin to back for a win no more so e as a bit on loocera for a place an got a good price i never ad a bet becos i wan- ted my munney for the cup well when this ere loocera cum up the strate bil neer went mad an when the juge give it secind bil wacks me on the back an sez oo is laffin now then the juge changed is mind an give secind place to cannon lor an you awt to seen bil an you awt to erd wot e sed abowt juges gosh i neer dide laffin * * * * then cum the cup an bein full p of reel good informashin i planks me doe on pantheen for a win but bil is orful moody an sez e aint goin to ave a bet but e keeps lookin round im curius like bine by e seen a blokes at blow off an another bloke catches it with is warkin stick then awl at wunse bil went cleen off is ead an dives into the crowd an leves me standin but i dident miss im mutch i was to excited as i sez i cant reely say i seen the cup ixcept in bits but i ad sum orful good jumpin exercises i cot the art diseese wile the orses was cumin up the strate an everywun was yellin pantheen i got complications wen the numbers went up an the juge sez speerfelt but i cum verry neer bin a winner an i aint grumlin wot i objects to is bil smith i cum acrost im abowt arf a our after the race an wen he seen me e starts laffin like a hieener did you back it e sez grinnin like a mud idil an wen i sez backs wot e sez speerfelt dident you get the tip so i sez wot tip an e sez dident you see that blokes at blow off an when i sez i did e sez dident you see the uther bloke stop the at with is stick e sez dident you see im speer he felt e sez aint you got no branes * * * * well mister editer i leeve it to you abowt the branes anny man with reel branes wud ave dun the saim as me an wot bil dun was jist fools luck an nuthink more an i wident mind it so mutch if e wud only stop laffin thirty luvly quid he wun an e aint stopped laffin since annyways wate til thursday an we will see oo is laffin then i may be prry unlucky but thank even i dont never laff at others misforchins e oo laffs last laffs last an thers many a slip twix the cup an the oaks wel ther is manny a sad art in Melbun today and the speer as been felt by more than me an ime feeling it orful hoppin you are the saim Yours truly, BEN BOWYANG