Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 06 March 1929
gunns gully march 5 1929 to the editor deer sir it is sum time now since i ave rote you an may be you an uthers as bin a bit put out over my deep an misterius silens but as me an the uther prim- mer donners is in the abit of puttin it i want to ashure my deer public that they ave never bin out of me thorts for wun minit. i ave ad certin reesins for not ritin to you wich i ave refraned from maikin nown for feer of in- ternashnil complecashuns an sevrin the crimisin bonds of kin- ship betwix ourselves and deer ole england fack of the matter is i ave been so anoid over the barrakin i got abowt my previus letters to you that i ave been layin down wen ever peeple ave started barrackin me i ave allus follered the best tradishins of the british empire an lade down becos the modrin answer to the ole queschin stans england where she did is now no she layin down becos sumwun spoke narsty but seein i ave bin layin down now for sevril munce without gittin anny rackshins an nobody takin no notis i aint git- tin much fun out of it so i now taik up me pen to rite these few lines an make a suggistion to you wich i no will meet with grate aplause in yure offis now it seams to me that these ere crickit squabls is gittin so seryus that thay looks like developin into sumpthink cachin if they aint nipped in the bud while the ine is ot so wot i sez is let the erild in- gage a just an imparshal man to report the nex test match wich begins a fridy wot you want is a man wot reely nos the gaim an wot aint one eyed an as got the curridge an the stamine to put them englishmen in ther proper place altho i am pritty bizzy at present diggin me pertaters i am willin to cum down for me bare expenses an a small onerorium but not to small you onley got to say the wurd if you appen to be so fussy as to want evidens as to me boney fideys as a ixperk in kriket i ave only got to pint out that i been umpirin the lokil matches ere for going on 3 seesins an dorin that time gunns gully aint lost a match i ope you will agree to my sig- gestion abowt cumin down be- cos i think the fare way of reportin is the onley way if you want to preserve the good naim of crickit my oan persnil opinyun is that crickit matches adent ort to be plaid at all becos thay is be- comin to dangrous to them preshus silkin bonds wot is bin- din us to the muther country meself i agree intirely with mr jack ellis that crickit ad ort to be desided by arbitrashin then the english teem nee- dent leeve ome at all they cud just lay down com- fertable at ome an send out the evidens by wireless, for a im- parshal juge to deside instid of wich they are now onley gittin fleet streets nerves in ege to the pint of isteriks an playin duks and drakes with a nobul gaim—speshully duks let me no irgint if you can af- ford to ingage me i am sorry to ear mr chapman as got the flu hoppin you are the saim yures truly Ben Bowyang (Mr Bowyang has been engaged, and will reach Melbourne tomorrow—Ed.)