Ben Reveals Secret Mission: Bradman for Gunn's Gully

Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 13 March 1929

melbin
march 13

deer sir
now wot about the ossies
aint i sed all along wot was
goin to appin an aint it cum tru
as a crikit exsperk i rekin i
stand aloan
but wile i was down there at
the ground yesterdy i neerly
forgot to behave like the perfeck
test match abituey wot i ave
lerned to becum
besides me cushin an me
lunch bag an me bottil i ave
now lerned to take along a pare
of oprey glasses an a bored look
but i neerly forgot meself
yesterdy an let a yell outer me
wen bradman started nockin em
about
i think the bloke nex me mus-
ter thort i ad the ikkups
i think praps instid of givin
me a tikit for the stand in
fucher you mite git me a pass
for the outer were i mite find
more room fer self ixpreshun
but i am ramlin on like this
becos reely i got a confeshin to
maik to you an i dunno ow to
begin
fack o the matter is i ad to (2)
strings to me bo wen i cum
down ere to report this test
match for you an i been drorin
dubble exes but that is neether
ere nor there an not wurth dis-
cussin
but wot i do wish to announce
is that i been actin ere as
speshil comishner for the gunns
gully crickit club an have been
in constant comunicashun with
ther secatry mr bil smith with a
vew to gettin old of likely
players for the club
little did the orstralian
batsmen think as thay went out
to the wikits that the egil ey of a
selector was watchin evry move
but i never let it be nown for for
feer it mite make them nervis

owever i ave now maid up my
mind an i can let the cat outer
the bag

* * * *

las nite i wired bil smith ur-
gint as follers
ave found the rite man for our
club good stile ard hitter but
keeps em a bit to low for long
grass an ferns will i ingage im
ben bowyang
an this mornin i receeved the
follerin from bil
ingage im can git im job on
rode wurks comitey unanimous
excep arry fungis oo is jelis can
git im bord an login my place oo
is e bil smith
so it is now my pleesin jooty
to announce that the gunns
gully crickit club preemiers un-
beeten for thre (3) seesins run-
nin with my umpiring now offers
a place in its teem to this yung
bradman an we can give im a
stidy job on the noo rode an
good tuker at bils place

it is a oner that praps e di-
dent look for but the gunns
gully selecters is very diffrunt
frum yures down ere an alwiz
beleves in ingagin yung blud
before it gits ardnin of the
artries
of corse bradman will ave to
larn a few noo rules before e
plays in our teem sich as not
out wencot off trees and thre
(3) runs for ball lost in braken
an cetra but thats eesy
ime goin down agen brite an
erly today to run me ey finly
over this yung plaier an will
then maik im a formil offer in
my offishal capasity
or i mite put it off for a day or
to (2) so i can keep on drorin
them dubble exes
i ope to see sum good play
today an more continyus as
them englishmen mitent be so
orful thursty
hoppin you are the saim

yures truly
Ben Bowyang
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