Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 19 July 1929
According to London advices, Mr Osbert Sitwell, the English poet, has invented a new profession, that of poem-portraiture, or pictures in words. His charge for a full-length poem-portrait is 100 guineas; head and shoulders 50 guineas. This suggests amplification and exploitation on the mass production principle. Why not verse-photos or jingle-snapshots. The writer is prepared to supply these at 2/3 a dozen. Special marked down price during our Winter Sale, 1/11½. Samples submitted herewith.
1. A FLAPPER Silk, silk, sudden smile; Artless, earless, latest style; Calm assurance, wordly-wise; Stocking, lip-stick, teeth, eyes. Jazz, tennis, boys, boys! Cocktail, fag, astounding poise, Peaches, powder, roses, milk, Rouge, silk, silk, silk, silk. Chatter, clatter, giggle, squeeze; Movies, motors, neck, knees. Fags, fuss. “There’s Charlie. Oo! See you later. Tooraloo!” 2. A POLITICIAN “No, sir, I did not seek to run.” Vast importance; humor, none. Alluring voice, uncertain clothes, Jovial pre-election pose: “A charming child. How’s Mrs Smith?” Blarney, bombast, bogey, myth. “Watch Jones; he’s got a good strong team. The party, sir, must be supreme!” Inside knowledge, strings, ropes, Office!! Tactics, fears, hopes. “I rise to — Mr Speaker, sir!” I did not say it. I aver I said I — What? Where are my notes? Votes, votes, votes, votes. Deserted? Me? It’s quite absurd. You read the context, word for word. ’Twas they left me. A rotten game! My principles remain the same.” 3. AN ELECTRIC TRAM Crush, jostle, push, battle, Crash, rumble, clang! Noise, noise, rattle, rattle, Boom, thunder, clang! Shoulders, elbows, parcels, knees, Clash, rumble. “Twopence, please.”