The Fairy Policeman

Two small children — brother and sister — were found roaming unattended in the thick of the city traffic yesterday. They were taken to Russell Street, where the sergeant in charge told them fairy tales until their mother claimed them.

OH, he was big an’ tall an’ fierce
With two great eyes that seemed to pierce
You froo an’ froo; an’ when he spoke
He rumbled, like if echoes woke
In some big ogre’s cave. His feet
Were big as that! — to walk his beat.
An’ when he talked we were afraid
Of all the ’normous noise he made.

His face was big an’ broad an’ red
A shiny helmet on his head
Made him so tall. An’ he was dressed
Wif shiny buttons down his chest.
We trembled when he stooped and took
Both ours in his big hand — we shook.
But when he smiled! — Why!
You could see
He was as nice as nice could be.

An’ then he sat an’ told us — true —
Not stories that would frighten you,
Of putting bad men into gaols
But — you can’t guess it — fairy tales!
Yes, funny things to make you laugh
About a funny ole giraffe,
’N bears ’n crockerndiles an’ fings
An’ little piggies what had wings.

I fink he was a fairy p’leece,
The sort of one ’at keeps the peace
Where people have a jolly time —
Most likely in a pantomime.
An’ now, with Christmas coming near,
I wouldn’t be surprised to hear
He ’tends to all the traffic laws
For his big brother, Santa Claus.

I used to fink one time, I did,
When I was just a little kid,
’At p’leecemen were big savage men
’At frightened little fellers when
They frew a stone or ran away
Unnoticed in the street to play.
But now, when I grow to a man,
I’ll be a p’leeceman if I can.