The Barber's Story

"Mornin'," I sez to 'im,
   Gloomy, 'e seemed to be.
Glum an' unsociable.  Comes in the shop
   "Mornin'," I sez to 'im.
   'E don't say anythin'.
 "You're next," I sez; an' 'e sits with a flop.

   "Great Cup?" I sez to 'im.
   Shakin' the wrappin's out.
'E don't say nuthin'; but jist give a grunt.
   "Great win?" I sez to 'im,
   Smilin' incouragin'.
"Wonderful way that 'e come to the front."

   'E don't reply to me.
   Sits sorta glarin' like.
"Phar Lap," I sez to 'im.  "Wonder 'orse. Wot?
   'Ave a win yestidy?"
   Still 'e don't answer me.
"Phar Lap," I sez, "'e made 'acks of the lot."

   "Champeen," I sez to 'him.
   "Wonderful popiler ...
This 'ere Tregiller, 'e never showed up ...
   Phar Lap," I sez to 'im,
   "Mus' be a wonder 'orse.
But this Tregiller run bad in the Cup."

   "Wot?" 'e come back at me,
   Lookin' peculiar --
Red in the face, so I thought 'e would choke.
   "Cab-horse!" 'e sez to me,
   Nasty an' venimous --
Reel disagreeable sort of a bloke.

   "Tregiller!" 'e sez to me,
   Glarin' reel murderous.
"Tregiller!!" 'e barks at me. "That 'airy goat!"
   Surly, 'e seemed to me --
   Man couldn't talk to 'im....
   "'Air-cut?" I sez to 'im.
"No!" 'e sez.  "Throat!"