Fiduciary Friendship

'E 'ad spragged me before for the loan of a quid.
   But I told 'im straight out I was broke.
Still 'e would 'ang around me, wotever I did.
   'E's a regiler obstinit bloke.

'E'd tapped me for dollars an' bit  me for bobs;
   An' I ain't too finanshil meself.
Wot with times like they are an' not too many jobs;
   So a bloke 'as to 'ang to 'is pelf.

But this Mister Theodore give me a lead -
   'E's a genius all on 'is own -
'E put me wise yestidy - jist wot I need,
   When a bloke comes along for a loan.

I rekin this Theodore's out on 'is pat
   As a shrewd an' a far-seein' bloke,
Wot can 'and out the patter an' deal with a flat,
   'Fore 'e's time to make up to the joke.

So today, when this cove puts the 'ard word on me,
   I tells 'im straight out I'm 'is friend,
An' I'm goin' to 'elp 'im from sheer sympathy
   With a few quid I'm goin' to lend.

It 'urts me, I tells 'im, to ark at 'im moan,
   An' I 'aven't the 'eart to refuse.
So I gives the poor coot a fidoosary loan
   In the shape of some nice I.0.U.'s.