Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 20 September 1932
Melbun September 19 deer frend me an bill smith was to tierd to go to the show a saterdy after our long bike but our kind frend that we are stoppin with in al- bert park took us to the opprer on saterdy nite an i tell you strait i never seen nuthink so excitin in me life i thort ole bills eyes wud drop out of is ed tork about them merikin gangster fillums they was sunday skool pick- nick compared to them 2 blud thursty opers we seen ther was 2 of em one called sumpthink like rustick anna an the uther pally archie but taik it from me archie wasent nun to pally wen it cum to the nife stickin i never see sich a pritty bit of stickin since ole jim airey killed is 6 pigs in one day the time bakin was on the up me onley trubble was all that singing bein in a furrin tung i ad to keep arskin the bloke nex me wot thay was sayin but e seamed a pritty igerint sorter cove that dident no latin eether an bime bi e got quite disagreeble well i rekin if them furrin opprers goes so well we ad ort to ave a orstralyun gran oper as wud go twice as well avin nuthink to do a sundy i maid up a bit of a plot meself out- er me own ed an if you appen to no a bloke wot is andy with choons e cud sling in a bit of musick an we got a shure winner as follers erewith i give a bit of a short sinopis of me grate plot fer orstralyun gran oper the ero wich is a tenner is a yung country feller wot as gon to town an got a job in a abators stickin cattel is naim is antonio wallibi an the furst seen is a big cattel stickin corus with plenty of blud and the ero is stickin em reel good an is out to brake the slor- termens rekkud wen orl of a suddin as e is about to plung is gory blade inter the neck of a red an wite poley efer e discuv- ers she is nun other than is pet carf strobery wot e plaid with on is fathers farm wen e was a innercint child is art broke by the pleadin look in the effers eye an just as e slings is nife away in discust oo shud cum on the seen but lino sirsingle the drovers pritty dorter from gipsland thay falls in luv at fust site an a verry pritty jewett she irges im to call a slortermens strike an demand the umain killin of bullicks by given em clorafom befor deth ther then cums on the seen the villin of the peece a olesail buchers son be the naim of marco undercut a bloke with a barytone voyce greesy air an a durty look undercut trys to intise lino away frum antonio by offerin to teech er the trick of wayin yer and with a pound of stake but antonio its im with a pluck an the curtin falls on ack one in ack 2 the big slortermens strike is on the slortermen ave downed everything excep ther nifees wich they is flashin at a butey corus of olesail buchers wot is drest like a balit an does a verry pritty dance intitled the wing- rib one step billo brisket one of the strikers is owever a low cound in leeg with undercut and elps im obduck lino to is manshin in torack but after a big fite she is reskewed by antonio wallibi with the elp of is busum frend a pertater digger frum gunns gully by the naim of apolo fos- fate this ere apolo is a shrood ed an e perswades antonio to buy a lot of pertater land wile the markit is cheep this ack closes with antonio an apolo cuttin braken on their noo farm wile lino sersingle playin a akorjin sittin on the fence in ack 3 the strike is still on an marco undercut trine to brake it by doin all the killin in is fathers yard bein out of practis e stabs im- self in mistake for a cow an falls ded apolo fosfate persuades all the slortermen to becum vegetarians an force all the rest of the country to eat nuthink but pertaters an greens. antonio and apolo maiks ther forchins outer spuds wich as gon to 50 quid a tun antonio marrys lino and all live appy ever after. curtin now if that opprer dont nock em silly wen it is put on you can call be bad juge and a muttin eded mutt hopin you are the saim Yores truly BEN BOWYANG. PS If it is on wile we are down me and bil is goin to see that grate murder case opprer riggy letto or the body in the bag. wud you like to cum B.B.