Nuthinoo

According to a recent cable, Dr. Vizetelly, the American texico- grapher, calls special attention to the protogram, and to what he considers is a modern tendency to use telescopic language, such as: “Statofon,” meaning, “Staying late at the office this afternoon.” But a modified form of this has been employed in Australia for a long time.

ARFAMO! Arfamo!
Snuthin nooin this yahno.
Tasaytha telescopic word
Is nooan novel is absurd.
Cozwy? Inoa certin bloke,
A palamine, oos nevaspoke
In anyuther wayfer years.
Itaintso nooaz it appears.

Supposya meetim inna street:
“Owdoo,” sezee. “I oped ide meet
A chapat adda boberto,
Cozime as dryasdust. Ainchoo?
Wahsayed dodgin ovareer?
They gotta decent branabeer.”
Anso, oorse, we duzzaduck,
An I sez, “Selth.” An eesez,
“Sluck.”

“I dunno wya work,” sezee.
“Work aina bitta goota me.
Iwanna getta decent lurk
Like me, an wudenavta work.
I never failta scora feed,
Or drink, or anythinneed;
So I dunavta keepajob.
Say, avyagotta nutherbob?”

So, azzi sezza wilago,
Ther’s nuthin nooin this yahno.
Coz telescopic words this way
Comes sorta natchril yumasay.
Ferever since the ages dim
We’ve spokum reg’ler, meenim ’im.
Still, azzi aingot plennipel,
I wisheed goan loosilself.