A Cricket Casualty

My dear, I'm awful shorry
   'Bout gettin' home sho late.
I orra been in hoursh ago;
   But you know how I hate
To biss a crit of micket -
   (Shuse me) I mean to say,
To criss a mit of bicket -
   Cricket!  Ash right.  Hooray!

In-toshicated?  Nonshense!
   Just need a lirrle rest.
I shush been round to Johnson's place
   Lish'nin' to the Test.
Great game!  It's nervish teshion
   Has made me feel like thish.
You know how I like cricket -
   I wouldn't bit a mish.

Hooray for Misher Bra'man!
   Anurraa fourer hit!
Hoo - what?  Don't be inshultin'!
   I'm norra leash bit lit!
Not even s'ightly shrozzled.
   Jush had a lirrle spot
Each time they hirra fourer -
   Mean to call tharra - lot?

My dear, don't get - hic - cited,
   I wouldn't hissa mit.
Three sheers for good old Washaname!
   Anurra boun'ry hit! ...
Hic!  Struse me, love.  Per-haps you're right,
   I berra gessum rest.
Jush beein - Hum!  You know, Jolson's place -
   Lish'nin' to - the Test.