Shaw? Pshaw!

Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 27 January 1934

Not reahly?  Oh Ai say!  What priceless rot!
   Suahly such uttah nonsense can't be true?
The King not speak ouah culchahed tongue?  What, what?
   Whai?  Ai've been to Oxford; but Ai do.
Ai've spoken Oxford now foah quaite a whaile --
Ever since Ai achieved mai latest stayle.

Ai mean to say -- these statements seem to me
   Quaite teeasonable, if you undahstand
Mai meaning.  And, bai jove! there seems to be
   A hint of something rathah undahhand
In statements that this Shaw straives to uphold --
A rabid Bolshevik!  So ai've been told.

This fellah Shaw!  Ai've nevah read his traipe,
   And never want to.  Ballay lot of rot!
Ai always hev dislaiked that common taipe
   Who sneer at culchah.  Why the boundah's got 
The priceless nerve to claim that loyaltay
Comes thro' rough speaking bai His Majestay!

Would he infer Ai've wasted all mai taime,
   Giving mai accent just the propah ring,
To learn that Royaltay has no such aim?
   By gad, sir!  It's an insult to ouah King!
Would Shaw infer that he has let us down?
No!  Definitely, no!  The man's a clown!
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