"Wet"

Not guilty, yer Honor . . . An givin me reasons,
Id like for to plead this ere change in the seasons,
   Plus one flamin goat with a terrible silly
   Great grin on is map wot ud drive a man dilly

E lobs in me shop an -- Is this enough rain for yeh?
Honest yer Honor, Id like to explain for yeh,
   Twas nt is tone, or is talk of the weather
   And twas nt is grin; but the whole lot together.

This enough rain for yeh? Stands there inquirin,
As if this ere rains the one thing Im desirin.
   Wet, aint it? e grins, with is mackintosh leakin
   All over me carpit . . . its justice Im seekin -

Plain justice, yer Honor.  I wonder Im sober.
You know ow it poured thro the whole of October,
   Then floods in November - an this eathen image
   Sez, Rain enough for yeh?  That started the scrimmage.

Wet, aint it? e sez.  Can a man claim I wrongs im
Right there in me shop, when I ups an I dongs im?
   For I done al me cash - as e well must remember,
   The coot - in this ere ice-cream joint last September.

Yes, ice-cream, yer Honor.  Cool drinks - then this weather
An im, an is talk, an is grin all together -
   Well - a man can stand so much.  I aint prone to fightin,
   But, if a fine must be, well, make it a light un.