A Taxpayer's Prayer

Publication: Melbourne Herald
Date: 12 August 1935

Oh, ye who sit in seats where once the mighty
   Ruled us on economic lines, now past belief,
And we, poor mutts, let fancy -- father flighty --
   Toy, even then, with dreams of tax relief;
Hark back, hark back to those dear days of gladness
   When, tho' we grumbled as we had to pay,
We grumbled less in anger than in sadness
   That even this small sum should pass away.

Oh, ye, all heedless of swift Time's effluxion,
   Financial year upon financial year --
Whose watchword in the forum was, "Reduction!"
   While watchdogs whispered, "Nay, increase is here!"
(If dogs do whisper).  Hear our humble prayer,
   Who, from Depression's dark abyss, now ask
A little pity for the poor taxpayer
   The while you ease the gatherer's brutal task.

Oh, ye who (quoting Omar) did with pitfall
   Beset the painful path we wander in
And, thro' evasion or great lack of wit, fall
   Into some new and unexpected sin:
If you must muck about with filthy taxes
   And babble of simplicity, we pray
Remember, while our baneful burden waxes,
   It grows no simpler for the dubs to pay.

Oh, ye -- (I'm getting sick of thus addressing
   Mere servants who against my household plot --
Who, when I hired them, promised many a blessing
   Which, when they got the job, were straight forgot).
And so: Here, you!  Attend to what I'm saying!
   If now with uniformity you'd bless
The household of your master, who is paying,
   I'd have all imposts uniformly less.
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