Vandals Reversed

It has been suggested that something be done to curb the sneak thieves who raid country properties near the city and ruin native trees for the sake of the bloom and young gum-tips which are afterwards sold in city markets.

“Kids in me orchard, up in the trees,
Cramm’d with them apples an’ joy—
They never distresses me, sins like these.
That’s the nacherl human boy.
It’s the crawlin’ coots wot comes in the night
Riles me,” said Baldy Brown,
“Leavin’ me gums an’ me wattle a sight—
Them sneak-thieves up from town.

It’s rack an’ it’s ruin wherever they pass,
Bloom, gum-tip disappears
With the few poor plants an’ the shivery grass
That me missus had nursed for years.
I’ve been to the Council, I’ve been to the cop,
An’ I’ve spoke to our Member, too;
And they sez it’s a shame; but the thing don’t stop.
So, wot is a cove to do?

But my boys has worked out what to do
With them vandals outer the town;
So they’re settin’ a wallaby trap or two—
Just bendin’ the saplin’s down
For springers, with pegs an’ a strong rope loop,
All hid in the grass with care;
Then a step, an’ a snap, an’ a startled whoop,
And the prey hangs high in the air.

So, if it should happen you’re up our way
An’ chance to be strollin’ by,
An’ you hears wild yells at the break o’ day
Where the strange fruit’s danglin’ high,
Don’t worry; but leave ’em hang an’ sway—
“Heels up,” said Baldy Brown.
“An’ they loot they gather won’t deck today
No market stall in town.”