In Session

Three men they sat a-talking,
    And they talked of many things
(Excepting, if you do not mind,
    Both cabbages and kings).
They talked of war and world affairs,
    Of life and all its nagging cares,
    Of economic rot.
And, when the talking made them dry,
They paused to wet the other eye
    And souse the epiglot.

And all the morn they argued,
    But no solution found.
They talked the questions in and out
    And round and round and round.
The first declared the war in Spain
Was just a sordid war for gain.
    The second, he said: “Bunk!”
The third said: “Now we’ve won the toss
Australia’s got to win. A loss
    Would see the old game sunk.”

All afternoon they argued
    And talk grew hot and high,
Tho’ all agreed the weather made
    A feller awful dry.
The first said: “Worl’ is on the brink—
Aw, stop that wireless! Wanner think.”
    The second said: “Here’sh chin!”
The third said: “ ’At’s anozzer four!
Hooray! I said he’d make a score!
    Goo’ feller that. Who’s in?”

And all the night they argued
    With pauses longer grown;
Until, as midnight loomed apace,
    One argued on alone.
The first said: “Hitler? Lorrer rot!
Ish armamensh. Am I ri’? Wot?”
    The second snored a snore.
The third awoke and said: “Hey! Look!
Wash marrer wireless? Stopped! Ash crook!
    Who’s battin’? Wozzer score?”