The Courteous Cop

Beginning on Monday next, Sydney is to have a “Courtesy Squad” of 100 specially-trained police dealing solely with traffic matters. One of its purposes is to place the police and public on the friendliest footing possible./p>

Good morning, sir, good morning.
Isn’t it a delightful day?
And—er—by the way,
Pardon my accosting you thus without warning
On a day so utterly superb;
But would you be so kind—
Would you mind
Pulling over to the kerb?

Thank you, sir. Merely a little matter of duty.
Silly, I know, on a day of such undeniable beauty.
Awful bore, too, having order to maintain;
But perhaps you would like to explain
Why you were on the wrong side of the street—
(Tut, tut, sir! No need for heat.)
Also, why you went against the light?
At the same time you might
Explain your excessive speed, and why
Your radiator poked that old gentleman in the eye.

I know you will forgive the allusion,
But there has been some confusion.
Might have resulted in the silly old fellow’s death.
And, now that I notice it, sir—your breath!
A thousand pardons! But a certain aroma.
What?
Indicating more than one spot.
Well, boys will be boys. But so early!
Really, sir! No cause for us to get surly.
This is not a matter for recrimination;
But I fear I must press you to accompany me to the station.

Well, here we are!
No, sir, I can’t permit you to go into that bar.
Let me introduce you to our sergeant instead;
He’ll be delighted to offer you board and bed.
Please step inside.
And thanks for a delightful ride.
So nice to have met you.
Goodbye, sir. I shan’t forget you.
Bung him in, Sarge.
Major charge.
He’ll be much safer inside.
Silly coot’s shot to the wide.