THE SINGING GARDEN

Blandishing the Birds

The honourable company of bird-lovers,  we are told, is rapidly increasing in numbers in all parts of the country; and  while one delights to observe this growing interest in our native  songsters—many of them rare and exquisite beauty that reveals itself sometimes  only after long and intimate observation—it must be recognized that there are  bird-lovers and bird-lovers. Quite possibly, there are also more than a few  bird-lovers; but, so far, I have succeeded in isolating only two of these  groups.

So long as one manages to keep one’s enthusiasm within reasonable  bounds, and refrains from being an absolute bore, much virtue may lie in  bird-loving.

But when your bird-lover, ignoring the restraint, develops into a  bird-bore and a pestiferous crank, he or she is something to avoid.

Perhaps you know the sort of thing I mean. Imagine yourself a  week-end guest at the country shack of a family, all of whom have gone  perfectly potty about native bird life; so much so that you expect them to  break out in feathers at any moment themselves.

With an appetite made keen by the country air, you are seated, let  us say, at breakfast, and, having taken the raw edge off your hunger, have  launched off confidently on your favourite conversational topic.

Just as you are about to make the first and most important point,  demanding close and intelligent attention, the host suddenly sits bolt upright  in his chair, as if he had been shot, and, forefinger erect, and head cocked  knowingly aslant, burbles rudely and irrelevantly: “Pst! Hush! Listen! Surely  that was the call of the red-rumped Athanthisa! How unusual at this time of  year. Let’s go out and investigate”

The whole family rises forthwith and rushes out of doors; and you  must either sit tight and breakfast boorishly alone, or go out with the rest  and develop crick-in-the-neck gazing foolishly up innumerable trees, while the  bacon lies in rapidly congealing fat, the kidneys grow cold, and the ants  gleefully discover the marmalade. Finally, at the end of some twenty minutes,  when one has bruised both shins and tripped over every protruding root in the  paddock, the amazing discovery is made that the songster is not a red-rumped  Athanthisa at all. It is a short-tailed stint, or even, perhaps, a  yellow-bellied shrike-tit.

Then everyone troops hack to a ruined breakfast, exclaiming  brightly: “Fancy making a mistake like that! So absurd, you know.”

Brother, have you, too, suffered?

But this brings me to the rather humiliating confession that even  I and my household at one time came dangerously near to developing this  terrible malady.

In this country cottage, we had cajoled and fed and fraternized  with certain robins and grey thrushes and magpies until they fearlessly took  food from our hands. Already the virus was working insidiously within us, when  an artist friend came to stay and observe, and remained to heap scorn on our  Arcadian employ.

“Blandishing the birds,” he called it, and waxing ethical and  psychological and ornithological, he proceeded to read us a severe and  chastening lecture.

He held that all this feeding and unnatural friendship—especially  with very young birds—was merely pauperizing, for our own selfish satisfaction  and love of display, a free, independent and hitherto happy race of people who  were far better left to their own devices.

It was, he said, undermining insidiously their natural  self-reliant qualities, teaching them laziness and mendicity and generally  upsetting the beautiful balance of nature.

He pictured the painfully crude efforts of this inept sissy-bird  to dig up a living for himself thereafter, his fumbling attempts, with  undeveloped vision and ineffective beak, to acquire, at the age of six months,  a trade which every self-respecting “uncivilized” young bird begins to master  before he is more than a few weeks old.

He painted, in glowing word pictures, the despair, the shame, the  growing inferiority complex of this unhappy fledgeling—a complex magnified by  the ribald mockery of his normally efficient fellows, whose derision mounted to  savage contempt and ended at last in physical violence.

We were almost in tears when our friend had finished his harrowing  recital, and I, for one, might have been wholly convinced had he not utterly  stultified his own argument early next morning as we observed him through a  window.

Thinking himself unseen, he spent half an hour in patient but  clumsy efforts to induce a yellow robin to accept from his hand a soggy lump of  cold rice pudding—a food which yellow robins very rightly scorn and despise.

But still I am left with my quandary, which some real nature  student may be able to solve: Can man improve upon nature, and does a  blandished bird lose caste?

Songs of Bush Birds